Growing as a Writer
I have a binder full of poetry and short stories that I wrote from about age 12 to 18 stashed away for safekeeping. While there isn't anything in it I'd dare be proud of today, each is evidence of my growth as a writer. For instance:
Why Me? 1999 (I was around 12)
As I look into the cup the cup in front of me I see my life dark and unfree it hurts to cry through the tears I can barely see all I think about, why me?
I believe it's the first poem I ever wrote and even though I can recite every word...ugh, I cringe! Luckily, I had a habit as a teenager to date my work with at least the year, so the dates give me a timeline of my writing. I can see change in my ability from the first poems I ever wrote to the last entry when I was 18.
Depression Reigns (2005)
Pain took advantage of the circumstances Sorrow is once again my home If only I had the courage to bleed again I might feel better with depression on the throne. To each good thought he screams off with their head To each wonderful memory the dungeon is where they make their bed He severed the lines that allow me to smile the laugh I once had has been captured for a while He drains my energy But retains my tears for their daily trip down Some may call him a tyrant Some may find him vile I call him my grand king After all, I cannot escape him So I gave him the crown.
Whoa at the teenage angst! Without a doubt I know that I could take any one piece from my binder and create a totally different, vastly improved version of my old ideas... but I won't. I really do want those poems and short stories to stand in time. They may not make me proud of my writing ability back then, but they serve as static reminders of my love of creativity and the written word. More importantly, they are evidence of my growth as a writer.
Part of the importance of a writer's journal is that it keeps record of your ideas and work. Not only can you revisit ideas once discarded, you can see how you grow as you become a more involved and talented writer. Often times I laugh at the silly or typical words and images I used in past writing, but I can also see how I used figurative language and other literary devices without even being aware of their purpose. The whole point of this post is to urge you to keep everything you write, especially that which doesn't make you the proudest. There may come a day when you can revisit that piece and turn it into the masterpiece you envisioned when you first put it to paper. You need to see evidence of your growth. It will be a great tool those days (or weeks or months) that you need a confidence boost.
